So, in my last post, I said that I had lost some inches due to the divorce diet. And apparently I had no appetite. I guess that's over now.
I took my measurements at the end of November so I could buy a dress and I had gained about 1/2" on both waist/hips since September. No problem; it didn't even register on my radar. But over the last 3 weeks or so, it seemed like my pants were fitting differently. I am fabulous at not noticing things, but it really seemed like one week they were falling down and the next week they were cutting off circulation. I finally took my measurements again and I have gained an inch on waist/hips since the end of November. This puts me back exactly where I was last June when I started this blog. Weirdly enough, I'm 6-7 pounds lighter than I was last summer. I don't put much stock in weight because of variations like this.
Everyone's thinking "oh yeah, people always gain weight around the holidays." I just don't know if that can be blamed in my case though. I don't really do anything differently as far as eating around the holidays. I had already fallen off the exercise wagon long before November, so there was no difference there. I had my Christmas shopping done quickly and early this year, so it wasn't due to running around shopping. I didn't go to a lot of parties or receive a lot of treats. The only thing that could be related to the holidays was that I won a jar full of over 2500 M&Ms at my work Christmas party. Yep, they're gone now. My kids and I ate most of them. Some got thrown away, but most were eaten.
The real problem is fast food. I have been a little burned out at cooking recently. Then I got some gift money in November, and we pigged out on more fast food over the last 2 months than we probably did in the previous 2 years. We probably ate out 2-3 times per WEEK. When I get fast food, I don't order massive meals, but still, it's deep fried garbage. And of course I've been eating massive quantities of sugar whenever I can. We made cupcakes (23 of them) with buttercream frosting and M&Ms on Saturday night. As of this morning (Tuesday), they're gone. We just don't do well with eating 1 treat at a time.
Along with body changes, I feel tired/exhausted/gross much of the time. Nothing really terrible, but just 'blah'. Maybe all this will motivate me to get back on track with exercising. The title of this blog was to 5K and BEYOND. The 'beyond' part was supposed to be the bulk of the blog, but I haven't even made it to the 5K part yet!
One thing I've been thinking about is that I do not like focusing on weights and measurements and calories and minutes. I could see myself going a little overboard on this. But on the other hand, it's probably good for me to be at least somewhat aware of what is going on with my body. As I mentioned before, I tend to be very good at not noticing things. I could see myself gaining weight very slowly over time until 10 years later I notice that I'm 50 pounds overweight. The only thing that would stop this from happening is that I'm very cheap and try to hang on to my clothes as long as possible. Most of my clothes aren't tight/fitted, but I do wear jeans occasionally, so I would eventually notice that my jeans weren't fitting, as I did a few weeks ago and back at the beginning of this blog.
Do you like how I go on and on forever and then just end suddenly? I hope so.
10 comments:
I'm going to say this as bluntly as I can while still being kind: You have GOT to get off the sugar! Believe me, it's not a judgment. I have my own addictions, specifically to anything coated in MSG, which is probably a lot worse considering MSG's effect on the brain. But all that sugar has got to be wreaking some kind of havoc on your organ systems.
I'm reading Body Ecology right now, since everyone on the planet told me to read it. Personally, I think this nebulous "yeast syndrome" can be a faddish non-disease of the week for natural health advocates, but there's probably some truth to it. I don't fit a lot of the symptoms even though I'm a prime candidate for yeast syndrome because I had multiple runs of corticosteroids and antibiotics, including broad-spectrum antibiotics, in a single year and I never replaced whatever those drugs destroyed. But I've never had a yeast infection in my life and most of the other symptoms don't quite match, either. I mostly have digestive symptoms and some cognitive stuff, which could be yeast or any number of other issues, specifically wheat intolerance.
But what she outlines in the book still makes sense as far as getting away from sugar and improving your diet overall. Have you read it? Have you thought about doing something about the sugar? I just ask because I think it's very likely that everything you are describing could be traced back to sugar. Weight redistribution could be from not exercising, but it could be from insulin problems, too. The exhaustion and general feeling of grossness - yes, definitely.
As far as measurements are concerned, I don't do them. I have a general weight range I'd like to reach and a general size I'd like to wear, but I find measuring myself to be too nitpicky and not particularly satisfying. I try to focus more on things I'd like to DO, like scenic cycling, daily yoga, and so on, and just a basic feeling that I am capable.
I fell of the wagon with exercising over the holidays. Jeremy and the kids were out of school for THREE WEEKS and I didn't go to the gym ONCE during that time. We just live too far from town to justify the expense of driving if it's not for work or school. And I was sick for almost two weeks before the holiday break so really it was more like 5 weeks off from the gym. When I finally went back last week, I felt like I was starting all over again. I couldn't do my usual resistance or time on the bike or the treadmill or with the weights or on the floor. And it was really hard to recover, just like when I first started working out. It totally sucked. But after only three days I was right back doing as well as I was before. So even if we go a while without doing it, it gets easier to try again.
Do you like how I monopolize your comment box to write posts of my own? I hope so. :)
"Have you thought about doing something about the sugar? "
Um, hello, do you not read my other blog? ;-) I write big posts about getting off sugar fairly regularly. Of course I've never made any actual progress toward that goal . . . Even my header says 'Also easily summed up as "whining about sugar since 2005"'
I haven't read Body Ecology. I've heard of the systemic candida stuff you're talking about and since pretty much every symptom known to man is included in the list, I've thought that could definitely be an issue for me.
"I try to focus more on things I'd like to DO, like scenic cycling, daily yoga, and so on, and just a basic feeling that I am capable."
I absolutely like this way of thinking about it. And that's what I said I was going to do in my last post, ha ha. Although the engineering side of me likes to make charts and graphs with numbers and stuff. Although I could do that with the # of miles I run per week or something instead of body measurements.
You have great comments!
Also, in addition to fast food being a problem, I've realized that I also eat out of boredom/sugar addiction.
I'm sitting here completely stuffed from lunch (2 C green smoothie, refried beans, & sour cream). I am so full I feel yucky. Yet I'm still thinking about what I could eat, preferably some form of chocolate.
Now that I think of it, that's probably why I always forget to eat when I'm at home - I never have time to be bored there! Most people forget to eat at work, but for me it's the other way around.
And since I love to fill up my own comments section with drivel, I'm mention this as well -
The only time in my life that I can ever remember not having sugar cravings was back in July. I ate mostly raw for a whole week. I had some chocolate pudding every day (coconut meat, cashews, walnuts, cocoa, honey, agave nectar, vanilla). I probably also had a lot of fruit in the form of hot pink and green smoothies. But I did not crave my typical refined sugar treats. Maybe I just replaced the refined sugar with other sugars though (fruit, honey, & agave).
Oh, I know you've always worried about sugar, but what I mean is, have you made a specific plan for it?
I worry about the sugar content of raw food diets. Some of the most popular raw food cookbooks have recipes that include INCREDIBLE amounts of sugar - I'm remembering one recipe for cheesecake that had 1/2 cup of agave nectar PER SERVING. It seems like it's assumed that if it's a "natural" sugar or something present in a "whole food" like dates, then it's not harmful - but I disagree with that entirely. I've come to believe that even whole grains can be problematic in their effect on blood sugar and insulin levels. The glycemic load of a single date is gigantic, much less a "meal" that contains twenty of 'em.
Of course I haven't made a plan! That would be way too scary. Well, I did move the book 'Little Sugar Addicts' from under the bookshelf to the top of my dresser, if that counts.
I still have to make this cake before I can go off sugar:
http://expatchow.blogspot.com/2009/10/improving-on-nie-nie-mud-cake.html
Since I missed my birthday by about 2 months, it will have to be a divorce mourning cake.
Yeah, I've noticed that myself about the raw treats. Of course many the raw foodists say that the agave/date treats should be eaten infrequently, but when you have all those delicious recipes sitting there, that's all you want to make!
You're totally coming over to the dark side now. Dr. Mercola has been preaching that stuff about grains/insulin for years. Pretty soon I'm going to check your FB profile and you'll be a fan of Dr. Mercola!
:::gasp::: Don't even suggest it! That Dr. Mercola is totally off his rocker in some areas. I just can't take anyone seriously whose work is primarily a vehicle for self-serving sales.
You could think about your poor sister struggling in Iraq and run in honor of her. I'm trying to build up to 6 miles since that was EOD does....ughhhhhhh. I'm comfortably running 4.5 right now...just a little more to go!
And I guess it's really not that bad over here. I'm trying to get off processed sugar....it's working moderately well. The problem is I'm working out so much (what else is there to do over here) that I can't even remember the last time I was full. I supplement my diet with at least 2-3 Crunchy Peanut Butter Clif Bars every day. I justify it because the word 'sugar' isn't listed in the ingredients (I'm still in denial that 'evaporated cane syrup' might possibly be sugar). My co-worker told me yesterday that I'm like a garbage disposal. I told him I didn't really know how to take that, so I'll assume it's a compliment. He said, "well you're constantly eating but you're not fat or gaining weight, so you're like a garbage disposal because you just make food disappear somehow...."
Also, I didn't really get a birthday over here (I did have a pice of cake at the dining hall that day) so maybe we could celebrate both our birthdays together and make that cake when I get back!!
How come you're struggling to get up to 6 miles? I thought you were like SuperRunner! Do you run outside or in?
I meant to send you those brownies and things for your birthday -- sorry they didn't make it until January!!
When are you coming back? You also never had a 'New Life' party, did you? We could have a combination Birthday/New Life party!
Hey, Katie! Best luck with your goals! I am no good at running, and I emotionally eat, so I can't help with tips there. But you'd left a question on my blog that I thought I should reply to.
I think what you are doing is very intuitive - sending one friend flowers every year on the anniversary of her son's death. Remembering the anniversary is HUGE! Birthdays and other holidays are also a big deal (at least for me and many other moms I've met). It's just nice that the day in history that means nothing to most of the world is still recognized by someone.
Does this friend live close by? One suggestion might be to take them to her yourself. Then take time to talk with her, if she is wanting to.
You wrote that you don't want to remind your friends of their grief if by chance they've had a brief respite from it, but grief needs no reminder. Would you forget you had a child just because that child died? I understand your wanting to be sensitive, though, and there are some people who prefer not to talk about their child and try to keep their feelings from coming to the surface. It is good you try to respect that.
But usually, those of us who grieve don't stop thinking of our children, and it sure is nice to have a friend who doesn't mind me talking about my children (my living ones, too, btw). It is especially helpful when that friend lets me talk about things that probably make them feel uncomfortable-- like accusing people of not being available to me - even though the irony is that the person is sitting there listening and being available to me - sometimes I just have to "scream it out" to put the rational and the irrational in their proper places.
I think the biggest way to sum it up is WITH. So many times we mourn FOR people, because of all kinds of legitimate limitations. Mourning for someone is good because it makes you available to mourn WITH them if the opportunity presents itself, and makes you more likely to create an opportunity. Go to lunch WITH your friend (and talk about their child or not... just go with your intuition, which you seem to be blessed with). Also, compassionatefriends.org has a lot of good insights.
I'm glad you're so concerned about your friends. They are lucky to have your support. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog in their behalf. Again, best wishes to you on your goals!
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